“Self Soothing” is Ailsa Tully’s quietly liberating comeback

“‘Self Soothing’ is about a moment in my life when I was processing my Dad’s death and struggling in my relationship,” Tully explains. “We had moved house a lot around the country, trying to find somewhere that felt right. It explores grief, the ghosts that haunted our relationship, and the transience of our living situation.”

Tully’s voice on the pared-back, bass-first track is pristine, as she untangles the way her romantic relationship became a place of discomfort during her grief. She sings: “I just wanted you to hold me when I’m lonely / To make space for my grieving body / I wanted to feel better / I wish you could have been there for me.”

Is there catharsis in making music this honest? “Sometimes I have made music because I was desperate to prove something to myself, to be ‘successful’, to be worth something in the world,” Tully shares. “I think after many moments of doubt, I am trying to come back to creating for the love of it. Music has always been in my life. It always will and that’s enough.”

Tully grew up in South Wales and is now based in London, but the rural environment still plays a big part in her work, with captured birdsong and environmental sounds layered alongside her string arrangements. “I love gardening, field recording, spending time with plants, and just generally being in the natural world,” she says.

“Self Soothing” is less experimental than some of Tully’s early singles. “My partner/co-producer Jovis and guitarist Vince contributed massively,” she says. “Their parts added so much depth of feeling to the song. I am so lucky to work with some of my closest friends; they bring so much to the project and make creating feel so easy.”

“For this song particularly, Puma Blue was a big influence. I love the brooding spaciousness he creates. It felt like this moment in my life was really captured by this soulful, yearning sound.”

“Self Soothing” is aptly named, a nod to moments of distress we all experience in infancy. To self-soothe is to regulate and calm oneself without parental help. On “Self Soothing”, Tully is faced with this very reality.

“I was holding off releasing for a few months, trying to find the right moment. There is so much pain in this song and there came a point when it felt like my creativity was being stifled by holding onto it and holding onto the album, too,” she says.

Her father, Colin Tully, was a musician too. He features on the upcoming album as more than just an artistic inspiration, playing piano on Womb Room’s closing track, a haunting cello and keys instrumental – a duet between father and daughter. Was it challenging to finally put something this personal out into the world?

“It felt terrifying to start the process of releasing something I had been working on for three years and which was so deeply personal. I have been more nervous to release this work than anything else. But now it feels so great to be sharing it and moving on with my creative journey.”