The Melvins, Big Business, Porn – Leeds, Stylus 07/10/08

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Fucking hell, I’m about to see The Melvins. That Sideshow Bob looking, guitar wielding piledriver Buzz Osbourne is, at some point tonight, going to be on thatstage belting out some nasty stomping sorcery. And I’m gonna see it! Needless to say I could piss my pants with excitement.

First up tonight, Porn. Not the XXX sort though. Immediately I realize that the drummer from Porn is the drummer from The Melvins. So it’s a sort of family affair tonight. After subsequent research, which involved me hitting their myspace page (try and avoid googling Porn kids!), I found out Porn are usually a four piece. Tonight, however, there are just the two. One Dale Crover, of The Melvins, and some sort of evil looking beardy grizzly on guitar and noise duties. He looks like one of the tree people from LOTR. And he embodies all things stoner – namely, a giant beard.

Porn don’t get down and naked, thankfully. They’re all pretty old and, well, male. Instead they play some experimental, drudged metal. The sort of drones that if I’d had a couple of tokes I’d have loved, but I was far too excited about Big Business and Melvins to really feel their music. Mr Ent (or Tim Moss) on the sampler was making all sorts of looped feedback noise before jumping on guitar to chug out a nice riff. It was entertaining enough, and the crowd loved it. They’ve done a record with Merzbow also – well worth checking out.

Next up Big Business take the stage, bassist/frontman Jarred Warren adorning a Tshirt with a big bear on the front. He does look quite a lot like a bear, it’s got to be said, if it was a bear who could play bass like Squarepusher at a metal night. Their drummer, Coady Willis matched him by smashing the be-jesus out of his kit. They rip through their songs with consummate ease, and I am especially excited to hear songs off their fantastic album Here Come the Waterworks. Towards the end of their set, Dale Crover joins them on guitar to jam out a couple too. Bonus! The crowd is awakened and ready for a stomp. Big Business are only happy to oblige! Some bands can just do it!

We didn’t have to wait too long for the Melvins to take the stage because, like I said, it’s a family affair, and Big Business are also playing in the Melvins now. Willis and Crover are both playing drums, and Warren is on the bass. That’s right – two drummers!

On comes King Buzzo. Never has there been one person that has had such an impact on modern heavy rock music as Mr Osbourne. From the grunge era; he was Kurt Cobains mentor, and the Melvins were doing grunge before grunge, to modern metal with bands like Kylesa, Torche, Big Business, Boris, and many more indebted to the influence of The Melvins.

On with the onslaught. With two drummers both playing their hearts out they almost upstage King Buzzo. Almost! Kitted out in a black robe, electric grey hair bushed out, he looks like the messiah of the underworld. And plays like it too. Hearing the newer side of the Melvins is refreshing. Many old bands can’t stand the test of time without becoming stale and nullifying themselves. The Melvins have managed to keep kicking the life into their music, and the newer classic rock edge sounds as good as ever. They do play some older ones, like Hooch, along with a wickedly dark cover of The Who’s My Generation (where Willis and Crover take on the vocals), and ‘The Star Spangled Banner’.

Mid way through, Buzzo stops the set when a couple of “punks” start po-going and generally being arseholes. “We’re not playing another note until YOU and YOU get the fuck outta here!” Admittedly, says Osbourne, he hates talking to the audience but the two in the front need to leave. Wicked! How gutted would you be to get thrown out of a Melvins gig by Buzz! From then on Buzz is a bit more interactive with the crowd and cracks a few abuse jokes at the two dicks that got thrown out.

Definitely one of the best gigs I’ve been to in a long time, and to see Buzz Osborne play guitar is like a masterclass in the art of darkness. They might be getting a little gray and wrinkled, but here’s to another 25 years of one of the greatest bands on planet three in the solar system! Star struck by the demon!

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