Each day, millions of people die of entirely preventable diseases. The lack of accessible, universal healthcare combined with the continued denial of food, clothing and shelter to those most in need is acknowledged as one of the greatest abominations this world has to live with. It has angered many but kills off far more.Clearly, there is something askew with this moral compass you have bestowed upon us. But that is why you gave us celebrities ”“ celebrities show us the way. Celebrities that include Bono, he of good voice. Thank you for giving him the voice which holds sway over our world leaders.Why is it, though, that on his latest LP (which is available now and includes a deluxe edition) he says that “I don’t wanna talk about wars between nations ”“ not right now”? The ‘Sexy boots’ he frequently mentions, well we all know where they can lead. Perhaps Bono, crumbling under the hefty weight that the mantle of ambassador brings, has decided that he just fancies a shag and a boogie.Regardless, No Line on the Horizon plunged me immediately into the heady, yet familiar stadium rock of U2. The underpinning drone connected by some interesting chordal variations and Bono’s sing-a-long chants set my head aspin. When The Edge arrived on ‘Magnificent’ (which I am sure is intended as a first-class exercise in oxymora) with delay pedal in full effect, the deep lyrical whimsy perpetuating served to simply upset me dearly. The use of a slide guitar solo in ‘Magnificent’ is replicated in the very next song: ‘Moment of surrender’. So soon, Oh Lord?When ‘Unknown Caller’ launched through my speakers, it felt like I was with the individual members of U2 at some twisted oral bukkake party, and they were lining up to take turns to vomit violently into my right ear, spunking swathes of sputum down my tear-sodden cheeks while simultaneously thrusting a xylophone into my left. Recovering, the atrociously titled ‘Stand up comedy’, finds U2 emulating Led Zeppelin (peace and blessings be upon them), but the result sounds much like Audioslave riffs being played by Hanson during their ‘Mmmbop’ period.The one absolute of this record is the incoherent grandiosity that hurtles through auditory canals, rooting for kernels of credibility and decency. Which leads me nicely to ‘White as snow’: a meandering, patronising swing at country-inspired story-telling, dressed in gingham and grasping a stick of pink candyfloss looking lost at the bi-annual Good song fair.Though ‘Breathe’ does contain some of the old U2 amongst it, there is never any let up in the surrounding barrage of noise, and the cacophony soon drowns out what soul remains beneath. ‘Cedars of Lebanon’ does seem to hold some truck with the political and, it pains me to say, the sampled “Against the sky” (written by co-producer Brian Eno) is the most substantial piece of music heard across the whole record.Sacrilegious though I may be, Lord, I must be frank. I cannot believe that you could allow such a piece of work to exist in light of the hideousness already in this pestilent world of ours. This leads me to conclude that you, God, do not exist and that as such, there shall never be any justice in the world. Even Lemar knows that, and I am completely at a loss as to fathom how.I hear Bono called Chris Martin a “twat” the other day which, all things considered, sounds rather like the pot calling the kettle a golliwog. If you are going to buy this album; please don’t. Give the money you would’ve spent on it to charity and we’ll all be better off. 15%U2 on MySpace