This isn't an EP, its an insult. A giant wet cock-slap in the face by two mockney probably-teenagers-but-who-knows-or-cares with concrete for hands and dicksacks for senses of humour. Only musical. (barely)This is music that stands up and demands to be hated. Maybe that "music" should be in inverted commas like that one just there in this sentence. Nah probs too extravagant. But whatever. It comes from the same sort of space as DrownedInSound meme band Rowan Hypnol & The Rapists, although actually they were probably more notable for starting a thread about sleeping with a fourteen year-old girl. Its very much the type of thing Take The Spade And Dig would probably too, all easily-bruised egocentricity, trapped between the space of trying to be hated and wanting desperately to be loved. Singing songs about disabled people and wanking in toilets. In annoying saaarf Laaaandaan accents. And its just guitars and drums, or something. Prinzhorn Dance School with cartoon penises scrawled all over them.Now I suppose by this point you're probably thinking (if you're familiar with the general workings of my mind/music taste): "whats up, Tom, you're not one to be easily offended by this sort of thing, you like sloppy stuff and you don't like ‘adult' stuff with acoustic guitars and tuneful vocal harmonies and things, and you couldn't care less about jokes about disabled people because you have a consistent commitment to free speech and that includes the freedom to offend." But those would all be good reasons for me not to hate Take The Spade And Dig if they weren't so arse-grindingly awful. The fact that they've even put this EP together and sent it to us is an insult. I mean, who even are they? About 2000 myspace views, no shows... a stupid poster, picture of some urinals... biography written by ‘JR Hartley' in a particularly obvious Yellow Pages homage. Its sick. In a bad way. Maybe they're just some joke by an established band or something and they want to be disliked because that's their entire point, and that's why I'm writing this review because its actually a big joke. BUT ITS NOT.I think a lot of stuff is bad that other people on this website don't but let me assure you: I've asked around, and let me assure you that TLOBF is united in the belief that this is the single worst release you will hear all year. If you do hear it, which frankly you shouldn't. I hope Take The Spade And Dig take the spade and fuck off and die asap. I'm not even giving this tedious wank the dignity of an actual score.

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Take The Spade And Dig on MySpace