Steel Panther – Feel The Steel

If only every album released this year could start with "Fuck the Goo Goo Dolls/ They can suck my balls," then 2009 would be, like, the greatest year ever. Oh well if that doesn't happen 'cause the world has been given this gift from L.A. hair metal revivalists (well, sort of - more on that later) Steel Panther and their more-or-less "official" debut record, Feel The Steel.Steel is arena cock rock in the purest sense of the term. Every single song, apart from opener 'Death To All But Metal,' is written from the point of view of an alpha-male's penis. Most music written by men is, but at least Steel Panther is honest about it. The majority of the tracks here (ten of eleven) discuss sex on some level - and quite humorously, at that. 'Turn Out the Lights' is about having sex in the dark because the girl is hideous; 'Eatin' Ain't Cheatin'' argues that cunnilingus isn't being unfaithful and that, by extension, "suckin' ain't fuckin';" 'Community Property' talks about the fact that while the guy's heart belongs to one girl, his dick belongs to everyone (while he's on the road); and 'The Shocker' is a how-to on, well, the shocker. Consequently, "Two in the pink and one in the stink" has never sounded so romantic.The reason that Steel Works is because Steel Panther rides the line between parody and out-and-out ridiculously honest. You're never really sure as to whether or not the band is kidding, and that's where the genius shows through: It doesn't matter if the band is serious with a lyric like, "Well I bet you never guessed when you came to the show/ You'd be getting on the bus with me and doin' some blow/ Your mama's in the parking lot and looking for you/ She's gonna find you when I'm done all covered with goo." It's brilliant either way. If that's a parody of all the absurd ballads from hair metal bands then it's a pretty fucking accurate one. If, on the other hand, the lyric is autobiographical on any level, well then that guy deserves a high-five.Besides being a hilarious take on the hair metal genre, the music is surprisingly well done series of anthemic '80s shout-alongs. Guitarist Satchel shreds on 'Metal' and 'Eyes Of A Panther,' the rhythm section of bassist Lexxi Foxxx and drummer Stix Zadinia are as solid as any from '80s metal, and frontman Michael Starr is the 21st Century Vince Neil. Oh, and the melodies and riffs are catchy as hell, too. 'Panther' and 'Party All Day' will be stuck in your head for a week, guaranteed.While Steel Panther seemingly have a one-joke routine, it's performed so well that the mistake is easily overlooked. All the songs (save one) are about one subject, it's true, but so were a large portion of songs by the Crüe, et al. So, it could be said that the monotony of content here is just another layer of satire. Either way, Feel the Steel is as fun a record as you'll find this year. 85%Steel Panther on MySpace