Oh shit, it's Elton John! No, wait, it's Phil Collins! No wait, don't get too excited, its just Razorlight again. It seems only a few months ago that they were polluting our airwaves with Razorlight, their second turgid album that spawned the brain melting "Hit" singles 'America' and 'In The Morning'. Apparently that was 2006. And now, just as soon as they'd left, they're back! Slipway Fires is the name of their new album, although they may have well called it 'Hi, I'm Johnny Borrell, listen to how loud my vocals are compared to the rest of my band, listen and realise how important a person I am!'. The first track (the point of the Elton John and Phil Collins jibes) is a great example of this. It's called 'Wire To Wire', it's their first single from this album, and it's a vocally passionate piece containing mainly Mr Borrell on vocals and Mr Borrell on piano, showing that Mr Borrell is trying his hardest to pull Mr Borrell's band up from the swamp of public disdain and ridicule. But in all honesty, Johnny's voice is the only thing saving this song from being the musical equivalent of belly button fluff. Which is probably why they're mixed so high in the first place. Whatever he's like as a person (and from the album cover he looks like a complete twat), you can't help but admit that he can sing to a degree where he'd be labelled "talented" by some people. Maybe. Moving on.There's something about this album that makes it...hmm...fluffy? The whole fluff vibe plays through my head as I repeat the album, over and over. Maybe it's the tame pop production, the standard structuring or just the fact that I have a kind of ambivalence to Razorlight. That's right, I don't HATE Razorlight, their music just passes me by in a wave of dull calm. Even during songs like 'Tabloid Lover', which is quite upbeat and punchy, I feel myself drift off and lose concentration. I even forgot I was reviewing an album at times, and changed to a different band or loaded up a game before realising that I was meant to be critiquing this selection of music. I think that's the "Razorlight Effect" right there. And I'm willing to bet that this freshly discovered theory will in practice affect the majority of people who listen to Slipway Fires. It's just the epitome of plain music. Like a ham sandwich, no mustard or mayo. Just ham and two slices of bread. You eat it, but only because that's what you've been conditioned to do. You don't enjoy it, it just happens to you. Songs like 'Go Thompson' and 'Stinger' just fall across my ears and straight out of my consciousness without even touching the memory department of my head. Can't remember how those two go, even after 4 or 5 listens. 'Blood For Wild Blood' just happens. Final track, 'The House', just happens. Everything sounds the same, with the exception of 'Monster Boots' and 'Burberry Blue Eyes', which are like the rest, just sped up a bit. They only make me pay more attention because the drummer seems to like hitting the kick drum like it's going out of fashion. It's impossible to feel any sort of attachment, any relation to the lyrics or melodies, it's just all so fucking similar. ARGH. Even Johnny's vocal appeal has wained so much by the second song that even though he's warbling away with his heart firmly on his sleeve, he can't change my viewpoint about this band one little bit. Sorry mate.Right. I can't listen to this album anymore. Apologies to those who wanted an in-depth critique, but I've gleaned all i can from it. It's not a bad album, if you like Razorlight, you'll love it. If you feel even a slight bit of apathy towards this band, it can safely be said that you weren't going to buy it anyway were you? I've now learnt that sadly, the public opinion is right, and reviewing a Razorlight album like 'Slipway Fires' is a foregone conclusion before it's started. It's done nothing to change my mind about this band, and it will fail to change yours too. As an album, on it's own terms, it's dead on the middle of the proverbial road. Not bad, not good. Just a bit of musical fluff really. The Razorlight Effect strikes again. 40%Razorlight On Myspace