Wow.I'm halfway through the first track of Perfect Symmetry, the latest album from those press-baiting (doesn't matter how many drugs you take son, your affiliation with your band means you could never be truly rock and roll, so just get a nice cuppa and chill the fuck out) middle of the road chappies Keane, and my 'shit music' sensor hasn't gone off! There must be something wrong with my ears, because said opening track (and single) 'Spiralling' is great. It sounds like a Spandau Ballet/MGMT foxy boxing fistfight, with Rick Astley calling the punches. It is an incredibley enjoyable song, flirtatious, shiny, easy on the ears and packing enough happiness into 4 minutes 20 seconds (no single edits here) to make even a jaded 22 year old git like me smile.And now the song has finished. I've forgotten all the lyrics and the melody lines are blending into every other 80's song i've ever heard, but im still vastly confused as to how a band such as Keane have managed to create something that hasn't made me want to throw up.However, after listening to the rest of the album though, i've figured out how they've gone about decieving me into thinking this may even be a good release. And it's very sneaky indeed. Enough to fool me for about, well, 4 minutes and 20 seconds.Y'see, what Keane have done, is sit down in a room with some synthesizers, a good producer, and a big pad of paper, and drew a big spider diagram (or brainstorm, for the un-pc) on what made the 80's synth movement so great. And then they ripped out all the good bits, and made a valiant attempt to create their best impression (note the unoriginality of the word 'impression') of Spandau, New Order, Blue Monday, Yazoo, Talking Heads, Bros, Voice Of The Beehive et al. And what they got from that was 'Spiralling'. Even after Tom Chaplin layered his normally coma-inducing vocal lines over it, it still stood strong as a good song. After much cheering from everyone involved, they suddenly realised that one song didn't constitute an album. So then they rushed together 10 other songs that were pretty much exactly the same as each other. Tepid, instantly forgettable, piano driven, and very, very boring.Its the old Keane we know and love! Do you want the same song, but played without synths? Have a listen to 'Perfect Symmetry'! Do you want the same song, but in a slow burning keyboard-demo ballard style that even Chris De Burgh would have scrapped pre-recording? 'Again And Again', 'You Don't See Me' and 'Love Is The End', step right up! 'Love is...', by the way, sounds like someone throwing a squash ball around the inside of a timpani whilst being goaded on by a drunk. And his drunk wife. Only he has seven wives, and they're all singing together in one big drunken crazy rabble. Indeed, Tom's vocals are the strongest part of this album closer, coming across strangely touching and worrying all at once. Like a drunk. With his seven drunk wives singing at you. In one big drunken crazy rabble.So there you go. Review over. Sorry lads, nice try, but you're still dull, just now you have one song that is actually likeable. So now you're mostly dull. Now im off to play 'Spiralling' 11 times and forget the rest of the album ever happened. And Keane, never EVER do that to me again, okay?'Spiralling' - 60%The Rest - 20%Grand Final Round-Up Super Score. 35%Keane on Myspace