Track By Track: Caitlin Pasko on her Glass Period EP
Dreamy folk singer-songwriter Caitlin Pasko and co-producer Henry Terepka guide us through the grief-tinted beauty of her Glass Period EP, outlining the collection of experiences and methods behind this haunting body of work.
Barking Dog
Caitlin Pasko: I wrote “Barking Dog” during a heavy rainstorm, in one sitting, when I was living in Bed-Stuy and had a giant (nearly) floor-to-ceiling window in my room. My piano was just underneath it and I’d lit candles, and the song just came right out.
It began as a meditation around a comment my therapist had said to me which had been rolling around in my head for days: “Anxiety is a barking dog." I’d interpreted it to mean that there is an underlying, legitimate reason driving the inner experience of anxiety (or fear), and after hearing this phrase I practiced calmly and swiftly examining my inner thoughts each time I felt shy or nervous, so that I could identify the anxiety’s roots and quickly overcome it. It’s so simple, but it completely changed my life and I was able to utilize this method of self care throughout the initial stages of grief - when I had to grapple with constant (and freaky) involuntary thoughts, memories, and feelings around the death of my father. “Barking Dog” is an expression of my explorations.
Henry Terepka: When I first heard "Barking Dog" I was excited by the heavy darkness of the space. The music was all there with piano and vocal — an empathetic melody threaded through a heavy atmosphere.
Caitlin was really open-minded about trying out different approaches to these songs, so once we recorded basic tracks to tape (vocals and piano, with Josh Hahn at Relic Room), we played with those recordings as plastic putty, with overdubs and effects. Because the song was so focused, we could turn loose the effects and synths to create unexpected sounds. We wanted to get the machines' take on the mood, like they could act as the chorus in a Greek Tragedy, commenting on the arc of the song.
I come from a psychedelic rock background so I'm always looking for atmospheric effects that allude to headspace. Atlanta producers like Southside are doing this with Omnisphere, Nexus, Effectrix, etc. Some of those morphing ambient synths were inspiration for this project.
Favorite Dessert
Pasko: ”Favorite Dessert" also arrived in one fell swoop. I’d sat down at the piano after returning to Brooklyn from my mom's house in Virginia Beach. I'd showered just before leaving, and in the shower I noticed that my dad’s shampoo was no longer on the shelf. I realized my mom must have finally found the strength to throw it away, and I pictured her silently going through the motions and it shook me.
It reminded me of the time "Werewolves of London" came on over the loudspeaker while I was having lunch out with friends. My dad used to howl along with the chorus outrageously, just to make me laugh - a memory that had escaped me until that very moment. It caught me completely off guard and I ended up crying into my nachos. Eventually, through time, I've become skilled at flipping these potentially devastating little moments into something more akin to an homage, and that's what I'd hoped to mimic through writing "Favorite Dessert".
Terepka: We had fun playing with a pitch shifter on the vocals on this one, bringing out some of the playful lightness in this serious song. We sprinkled in moments of FM synth and guitar blips in the first half of the track that then clear out when the mood gets more insistent at the end.
Open Windows
Pasko: I wrote the refrain first, as I was inspired by a pair of red curtains that hung in a window across the way from mine. The lyric “Am I mistaking them / Am I mistaking bright fires for red curtains?” came about as I was going over the abrupt ending of a recent relationship, as one does, wondering whether or not I had seen it coming.
It got me thinking about windows - my ex's bedroom window, specifically - which provided me a view that I'd always felt privileged to wake up to. I hadn't ever consciously acknowledged my affection for that window before the break-up, so I hunted my memory in search of other seemingly mundane but secretly special things, and I snuck some of them into the song. It's definitely an homage.
Terepka: This track is really hypnotic, and lyrically it suggested a transcendental approach. The percussion rhythms that emerge in the middle are on a projected journey emerging from the hopeful, suspended piano part — the song having a dream. The transcendent, emotive, gracious mood of this song recalled for me Pat Metheny and Lyle May's As Falls Wichita, So Falls Wichita Falls, "Keys" by Wally Badarou, or Kate Bush's "And Dream Of Sheep".
Me Alone
Pasko: We had a difficult time realizing what type of sonic universe “Me Alone” was meant to exist in, and I think at one point we even almost nixed it from the EP. The lyrics for are pretty simple - mostly one-syllable, one to four letter words - so the song teeters on the edge, for me, between feeling sincere and feeling trite. The slightest, most subtle change in production could often land the song on the trite side of things.
I'm pretty sure we still had no idea what we were going to do with it when we got to Relic Room to record it. Maybe Henry did, as he was the first to run the song manually through the tape echo (he also suggested we bring in a sax player). The song itself is about my unconscious attempts to suppress and dismantle my anguish, and the production - specifically the tape echo - really mimics that. Henry and I also discovered that switching from hi-fi to lo-fi within the same verse accomplishes a similar feeling. This song was the most challenging for us to produce, but it was the most rewarding once we figured it out.
Terepka: It was really fun working through the process of arranging this song. Working on recordings always feels like finding a balance between fidelity and character on some level. Great mix engineers can help artists and producers find the right balance between purposeful lo-fi and inviting presentation. We were lucky to have the expertise of Pat Dillett to execute the transition from a warbly, filtered two-track to a layered minimalist crescendo.
The Still
Pasko: I wrote “The Still” while in the throes of a difficult breakup. It was a really dark time for me, what with loss on top of loss, and I found myself thinking a lot about my reaction to both. In both circumstances, the sudden break up and the sudden death of my father, a strange calmness came over me. I can still remember the order of my thoughts, the words I spoke, and how far away they sounded. In those moments, time felt as though it was put on pause, and it took me a while to get back up to speed.
I drenched the demo for this song in reverb and distortion, as I really wanted my piano to sound big and angry, and fuzzy like a guitar - during the outro, specifically - and I think Henry successfully brought that desire to the final recording.
Terepka: This song feels really grounded but also transcendent and expansive. We tried to add to that while staying out of the way, keeping enough space for the tension and release. Pat [Dillett] was also a huge help with this one in finding the heavy vibe at the end with a distorted Fender Rhodes and sub layered on Caitlin's piano.
Get Right
Pasko: The idea for this song came to me on an airplane, many months after my heartbreak. I looked out and saw clouds as far as I could see, in different shades of pink, orange, and blue. I was struck by the beauty and just so grateful to be alive and in the right place at the right time.
Later I also thought about the flight I took home to my mom after finding out about my dad. Looking out at the clouds that morning was agonizing at first; a constant reminder of the cycle of life, and one that made me feel incredibly small and helpless. That realization, though, that everything comes to an end… can eventually be comforting.
Terepka: Throughout this project we tried to get the materials of the arrangements - the tape, synths, effects, etc - to speak to the feeling of the songs. I'm happy with the chattering tape delay 'cicadas' at the end of this track and their contribution to the arc of these gentle closing moments of the EP.
Pasko: Henry later made the accidental discovery that the EP ends on the same droning note in which it begins - an unplanned little miracle that symbolizes one of the lyrical themes of the EP and of “Get Right," which is: things come together, things fall apart; life begins, life ends, life begins again.
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