A State of Independence

I am independent. Not "unsigned".

I began feeling discomfort towards the word the second I heard it, and instantly felt as though the wide word had little idea of what independent musicians are trying to achieve. Some people do completely get it, but I’ve been that girl in a room with peers celebrating their record deals, telling each other which big brand of shoes they bought with their advances, and I’m happy for them because that’s what they wanted, but me? Suddenly, I’m not taken seriously.

It almost takes us twice as long if not more, to achieve the same level of success and at times it can feel completely impossible we ever will. We are almost always playing against the wind, with no big cog in the machine behind us, to throw us on tour with a big name; pay for all of our expenses and we definitely don’t have any sort of advance to keep us ticking.

Being independent means there’s big sacrifices and I’ve been feeling the wrath heavily this year, more than ever. I’m soon approaching 25, and have been looking down on this number with doom, as my internal clock is reflecting on everything.

It’s been four years since I graduated University and turned to my mum and said, "Mum,I’m moving home and I’m staying there, because I need to give music every part of me." I’m nearly 25 years old and just about to begin my sixth part time job; making coffee in a train station near to home, so I can afford to get through the summer.

I’ve been a checkout girl, a cleaner, a waitress, a receptionist, a guitar tutor, a lecturer and the person who gives out flyers just so I’ve been able to buy Christmas presents. One year, I really had nothing and made everyone a vinyl bowl in the oven.

We want to remain in control, be innovative and forward thinking with our careers, making decisions for ourselves and not feeling forced to.

Now, It’s not all bad. Some of these jobs I’ve adored, but the constant battle between having time for music vs having money brings its low, questionable moments. I’ve looked at the factory shop floor I cleaned for two weeks (whilst sat in the cleaning cupboard, checking my emails and booking my first tour) or the trolley bay of Waitrose and thought ‘really? I’m approaching my mid twenties and this is it?’ but then I’m reminded of two things. The support, nurture and understanding of my family along with the film Joy.

I love everything about the story of the lady and the miracle mop. She was told, constantly, that her mop idea was ridiculous. She would set up her shop in carparks outside of home stores to try and gain the interest of the public, winning them over one person at a time. This is exactly what I feel independent musicians are doing - just without the mop. We are sometimes playing to three people, when it cost us twice as much to get to the gig than the fee we receive. We are saving up for van hire, or waiting on the joy of PRS to come through so we can afford to get new tshirts printed for tour. We are hounding promoters for gigs, and constantly relying on our friends, family and peers to come to our shows to boost tickets sales.

Despite the hardship, we are doing this because it’s our choice. It’s our choice to be independent.

To us, it’s important to retain the majority of our rights. We want to be able to own our song; the ones which pour from us. We want to remain in control, be innovative and forward thinking with our careers, making decisions for ourselves and not feeling forced to. We are doing everything it takes to understand this industry inside out and, even though, the wind may be against us occasionally, and any mistake we make is ours, we are slowly working towards the life of being full time independent musicians. Never, just "unsigned".