The Game of the Name

This is obviously something that happens a lot, and can cause confusion. Earlier in the week I reviewed the new album by Celebration, Wikipedia telling me that they were previously known as Birdland, also the name of a defunct early 90′s UK indie group. I also completely ignored the magnificient Battles for ages, as I thought they were the rather dreary Battle whose mini-album I was sent last year and despised. I have a friend in his early twenties who released an album a year or two ago under the name Beloved, and was very disappointed when I pointed out to him that there had been another Beloved a decade or so earlier. I should imagine up and down the land new groups full of teenagers are squealing with delight when they choose their name (“lets call ourselves Demin / The Associates / Menswear, that’ll be great!”) only to howl with anguish when a quick google-search reveals someone beat them to it.

I know this because I’ve been there – some years back myself and three friends made an album, for a joke really, as anyone who has listened to it will testify – and we had terrible trouble coming up with a band name. Everything we liked had either already been taken, sounded naff, or was liked by one of us and hated by the others. In the end my wife unwittingly came up with our handle after mispronouncing a word, much to our amusement. It’s weird to think that coming up with one word, just a name for what was merely a joke band, was harder than coming up with lyrics and music. And no, I’m not going to tell you what we settled on.

So is it true – are new bands finding it difficult. In my opinion, if you lack the artistic acumen to come up with a name then you have no business forming a band in the first place. The article references the current trend for more “wacky” names – citing I Was a Cub Scout (their decision is “a naïve attitude to…business” according to record company veteran Nick Stewart) and Joe Lean & The Jing Jang Jong. This though is hardly something new – step forward Neds Atomic Dustbin, Kitchens of Distinction and Dave Dee Dosy Beaky Mick n Tich for goodness sake. At least their names come out on top on Google, something The The must struggle with.

At face value, most established acts have terrible band names – its just we’ve grown used to them. Again this is just my opinion, but I think Blur, Keane, Radiohead, U2, Coldplay – are terrible names. Blur in particular is awful – famously, they were known as the not much better Seymour, before Food Records asked them to change it, giving them a list of options to choose from (one of which being Sensitize which went to another, less successful Food act). These days though, bands have to think of so much more – the afore-mentioned Google in particular. You need to come up with an individual name to stand a chance in the world of the search engine.

So what have been the great band names. Well, I love the name New Order – it just feels so right, for the band, the music, and the image. Everything fits – it looks good on their records and posters and, Nazi connections aside, is a great name. The Wedding Present I also love, as it is an original use of taking something everyone can connect with and applying it in a different way. Despite being awful, Jesus Jones is a pretty good name. And Pop Will Eat Itself is a genius title; it sounds good on its own and can be shortened (The Poppies) and abbreviated (the snappy P.W.E.I.). These are the things that please me.

And as for bad names, I think the worst of recent years has to be The Killers. It annoys me firstly because they nicked it from a New Order video, so it wasn’t even an original thought by the band, but also because it just sounds rubbish and tacky and unbelievably 80′s. Speaking of which, A-ha is a truly horrible name, even though I still love them dearly after all these years. Worst band name I can think of though has to be long forgotten indie dance rap band The 25th Of May. If my memory serves me correct, it was to mark the day the HMS Coventry was sunk, but all the same, naming yourself after a date is not a good move.

If the article in The Times is anything to go by, this a problem that is going to get worse and worse for any young musical pioneers. Their suggestion is someone create a random band generator on the internet and let nature take its cause. Or maybe each band should just be given a registered reference like a national insurance number and left to get on with it. It would make the chart rundown a bit more engaging for train-spotters. I think though, despite what the article is trying to stay, every decade has crap band titles and good ones, and that will probably continue past the time we are all dead and gone.