Ten Anecdotes from Behind the Record Shop Counter

Within the last month alone, vinyl headlines have varied from the sublime to the ridiculous. From heart-shaped Beatles cuts, to the unveiling of hip-hop archives, to the disarmingly bizarre proposition that you can now have your ashes pressed into a custom LP when you die, the medium’s rise continues its proliferating, propulsive rise.

As wacky as these tangents feel – the growth they herald is by no means a new story. Although still considered a niche proposition, the sales of vinyl have steadily swelled to reach their highest peak in fifteen years, with sales in the first half of this year alone increasing by more than 33%. My dad still doesn’t believe it – but the experiential magic of this once-doomed, impractical institution looks in never-finer fettle.

Graham Jones is no stranger to the peaks and troughs of vinyl’s unpredictable trends. Born in Anfield, he left school to work in “numerous dead-end jobs”, before breaking into the music industry as the manager of cult band The Cherry Boys – a band that, in his words, “made Spinal Tap look mundane”. Along with running a market stall, selling vinyl fruit bowls made from Beatles LPs melted into shape under a grill, he describes finding his vocation travelling the country selling records, tapes and CDs. Having spent nearly 30 years visiting and selling to independent record stores, and becoming “increasingly disturbed by the sheer volume of shops closing”, he was compelled to write his first book in 2009 – Last Stop Standing (Whatever Happened to Record Shops? – the result of interviewing 50 record shop owners about their lives in music. Now enjoying success in its 5th edition, the book was made into a film in 2012 (retitled to Last Shop Standing, the Rise Fall and Rebirth Of the Independent Record Shop) featuring a huge cast of musicians, including Paul Weller, Richard Hawley, Norman Cook and Billy Bragg, which was chosed as the Official Film of World Record Store Day in 2013.

A lot has changed since 2009 in the context of independent record shops, and consequently Graham’s latest book is a celebration of a different kind. In the heady boom of the vinyl revival, Strange Requests and Comic Tales from Record Shops is a collection of over 200 anecdotes gathered from behind the counter paying tribute to the wacky quirks of the wonderful world of vinyl, backed with illustrations from renowned cartoonist Kipper Williams.

We spoke to Graham for his ten highlights from the book, and the following introduction:

From the bizarre to the silly, I hope it gives you a laugh, and an insight into the peculiar world of being a record store owner…

10) Derricks Music, Swansea
A customer approached the counter with a CD.
“I shall take this if it will fit in my pocket,” he proclaimed.
“Why don’t you try it and see if it fits?” I replied.
“I would have, but I didn’t in case you thought I was stealing it.” With that he put the CD in his pocket. “Hooray, it’s a perfect fit!” he said, his face beaming with satisfaction, “I’ll take it.”
The next day he came back to the shop. “Did you enjoy the CD?” I asked.
“Don’t know,” he replied, “it fell out of my pocket before I got home. Can I buy another one please?”

9) Europa Music, Stirling
Foreign male customer: “I’m looking for Dido.”
Shop: “We have all her albums in stock.”
Customer: “Can I see them?”
Shop: “Of course!” (I proceeded to gather up Dido’s albums).
Customer: “Oh no! I was looking a for long rubber thing!”
Shop: “Try Ann Summers round the corner…”

8) Borderline Records, Brighton
A man came to the counter and asked if I’d seen Mick.
“Who’s Mick?” I said to the man, who I didn’t recall ever seeing in the shop before.
“You know, he’s the one that goes out with Robyn.”
“Who is Robyn?” I replied.
“She works in the furniture shop.”

7) Lewks, Downham Market
A teenager came in and asked for a new rap CD by John Paul. I guessed that the Polish Pope, who’d occupied the Vatican since 1978 until his death in 2005, hadn’t produced a rap album and suggested that it might be Sean Paul, the rapper, he was after…

6) Mound Music, Edinburgh
Customer: “I’d like to buy this Sandy Denny box set, but as you have the internet could you check who is the cheapest?”

5) Music’s Not Dead, Bexhill-on-Sea
One charming customer came in, had a good look around, approached the counter and announced loudly, “Your shop, mate, is right up its own arse!”

4) A tale from a classical record shop
Customer: “Do you sell light bulbs?”
Shop: “I’m sorry sir, this is a classical CD shop.”
Customer: “Oh well, do you have a 25 watt screw fitting?”
Shop: “I’m sorry sir, but this is still a classical CD shop.”

3) Record Collector, Sheffield
Customer: “Have you got the song about the transsexual who nearly misses the train?”
Shop: “I guess you’re after ‘Last Train to Transcentral’ by the KLF.”

2) Trading Post, Stroud
Customer: “How much is this CD?”
Shop: “Only £8.99.”
Customer: “Blimey, for that price I could buy it!” He then proceeded to put the CD back on the rack and leave the shop empty handed.

1) Zavvi, London
Customer: “Do you know Jason Orange?”
Shop: “Yes, he’s in Take That.”
Customer: “Brilliant, I want to get in touch with him – can you give me his address please?”
Shop: “I know who he is but I’m not a friend or anything –“
Customer: “What about the rest of Take That, do you have their addresses?”
Shop: “No…try contacting their management.”
Customer: “Do you have their management’s address?”
Shop: “No, sorry!”
Customer: “I like Boyzone as well – I don’t suppose you have their contact details do you?”
Shop: “Correct!”
Customer: “That is rather disappointing.”

Strange Requests and Comic Tales from Record Shops is available from pre-order here. Graham can be found on Twitter at @graham1471. For more information about Last Shop Standing, head to the website.