All Apologies: Will Joseph Cook

Who would play you in the movie of your life?

Richard Ayoade would definitely reach final auditions, I really think he would carry me as a character whilst adding his own unique flare.

What would your superpower be and why?

Time travel 100%. Imagine how many scores you could settle, you could be at every defining moment of human history. The only downfall is this might be quite deflating, expectations would be dangerously high.

What’s your idea of heaven?

My idea of heaven is to be completely at peace with the world and myself, to love and be loved. Either that or a weekend off to solidly play early 2000’s PC games.

What one thing have you learnt from your parents?

Both my parents are self-employed and creatives, which definitely had a big effect on me whilst growing up. Especially in my view of work, the idea of having a boss seemed alien and I guess it gave me a drive to build something myself; something to perfect and be proud of. There’s a lot to be said for being able to hand someone a body of work and saying “This is me, this is my expression, I made this mess”.

What song do you wish you’d written?

MGMT's "Time To Pretend" or The Velvet Underground's "Pale Blue Eyes" or maybe "Say It Ain’t So" by Weezer. I could list so many, that question is the best game. Imagine if you had written "Never Too Much" by Luther Vandross, how does that even happen?

If you could say something to your 15­year­old self, what would it be?

Lol. I would probably advise him to be less nob on social media. There is such a horrendous photo trail of my adolescence on the internet. It’s like Facebook owns my soul.

What’s your reoccurring nightmare?

Being called into a sixth form progress meeting. They start telling me I’m still legally required to be in education and my real life is just something I've fabricated in my mind. Feels like I’m going insane in the nightmare, some real Shutter Island shit.

What song will they play at your funeral?

"I Think Ur A Contra" by Vampire Weekend. Hands down. Such a journey listen, it’s a really sad song but has a “This is the end, but it was amazing” feel to it. I love that song.

What five people would you invite to your fantasy dinner party?

This is so difficult, i don’t even know what this dynamic would be like let alone diet preferences: Noel Fielding, Zooey Deschanel, Ezra Koenig, Charlie Day, Lorde

And, finally, who would you most like to apologise to and why?

There are literally too many things.