All Apologies: Joe Dunthorne

Who would play you in the movie of your life?

I'm hoping the movie of my life will be sufficiently arthouse to have an unknown lead actor for whom it will be a breakout role and that he will spend the rest of his career trying to move on from this one definitive performance but will be forever typecast and, decades later, people on building sites will still yell at him "oi Dunthorne, cheer up mate, write a poem about it" and, in this way, I will have ruined his life.

What would your superpower be and why?

Clairvoyance, so that I might be able to confirm or deny if there will be a film of my life and, if so, who will play me.

What one thing have you learnt from your parents?

To repress my emotions.

What song do you wish you'd written?

Pretty much any Aphex Twin song but today, "Vordhosbn".

If you could say something to your 15 year old self, what would it be?

Take notes. I'm going to write about you in seven years time.

What song will they play at your funeral?

"Be My Baby" by The Ronettes

What five people would you invite to your fantasy dinner party?

Kate Bush, Walt Whitman, Doris Lessing, Liam Gallagher and Charlotte Perkins Gilman.

And finally, who would you most like to apologise to and why?

Since I'm not brave enough to apologise to this person in real life, it feels like it would undermine the sincerity of the apology to do it in a promotional interview.

Joe Dunthorne is doing a poetry reading at Caught by The River Thames, 6-7 August, Fullham Palace, South London.