jasmine.4.t’s You Are The Morning proves it’s always darkest before the dawn

Released via Phoebe Bridgers’ Saddest Factory Records, her signing is the stuff of indie legend. Having toured with Lucy Dacus pre-transition, they continued to demo-swap until Cruickshank convinced her friend to play the tracks to Bridgers. Both musicians wanted to produce the album, and with their boygenius bandmate Julien Baker privy to the conversation, it was settled that all three would take on the role. Cruickshank then flew her trans-femme bandmates to LA to join her for the recording.

The songs on You Are The Morning were born out of some of the darkest moments of Cruickshank’s life. After coming out to her friends and family in Bristol, she found herself homeless and dealing with a divorce. She moved to Manchester and slept on floors and sofas, quietly writing her thoughts, experiences and fears into song.

Tracks like “Woman,” the first song she wrote after coming out, are so dense in emotion you can feel them tightening across your chest. Recorded with the Trans Chorus of Los Angeles, the song takes on a new, and perhaps even more vital importance upon its release.

Community is a big theme for Cruickshank, and the bright reprieve of “Best Friend’s House,” with its Daniel Johnston innocence, captures the warmth and safety of something so simple.

First single “Skin on Skin” is a blow-by-blow of Cruickshank’s formative experience of t4t intimacy, the lyrics as evocative as Baker’s guitar solos, while the Elliot Smith indebted chug of “Elephant” eschews chorus for an ever-captivating rhythmic revolution of verse.

Her love of Adrianne Lenker plays out across some of the record’s more delicate moments, including its title track which platforms her intricate guitar-work alongside poetic ode. Written for one of her best friends, the song breaks into chorus with a message of hope.

It’s that promise that things might get better which forms the heart of You Are The Morning. Even on the wild-eyed bombast of the Bridgers duet “Guy Fawkes Tesco Dissociation,” as Cruickshank imagines herself floating in a blood-filled tub, there’s still the glimmer of a brighter future. “I won’t act,” she promises, the track itself alive with staccato turn of phrase. “With my eye movement I’ll see you dent cans just for to get the discount. We can rewind and un-dent reprocess and desensitise,” she sings, each line its own hook.

Just as Cruickshank has put her body and soul into the writing of her debut, the boys’ production perfectly complements its dynamics and sentiment. There are moments when they turn the pressure up; from the aching harmonies of “Breaking in Reverse” to the wall of sound on “Elephant,” and moments when they bring it crashing down. “New Shoes" – an old release reworked with loaded emotion – almost feels invasive to listen to.

You Are The Morning comes at a time when life is getting darker for the trans community. While Cruickshank couldn’t have predicted the political climate her album would be greeted with, she could probably have guessed it. Even though the songs are painfully personal, they offer a wider hope. The world feels dark right now, but albums like this give promise that the dawn is coming.